No.37

I arise from dreams of thee

In the first sweet sleep of the night

When the winds are breathing low,

And the stars are shining bright.

***

PERCY BYSSHE SHELLY
The Indian Serenade, 1819

1. Opportunity knocks... conscience crawls under the door.

***

2. Never part with your illusions...you may want to go into politics.

***

3. Be happy with what you have...until the next sale.

***

4. Lack of common sense...leads to uncommon difficulties.

***

5. Remember...you are not the contents of your "IN"

basket.

***

6. Anyone's life can be improved...start with your own.

7. Be it ever so humble...it still has a mortgage.

***

8. The difference between a friend and an enemy is...you can't hurt an enemy's feelings.
***

9. It is not necessary to...stop and fill in the potholes on the road to ruin.

***

10. In all great chains of events...ignorance is the weakest link.

***

Strutz the cat, blog mascot , "Don't wake me when it's over."

  Sturdley Shinglehammer, the world's worse living poet, our regular Poetry and Doggerel correspondent does his thing this week from Tuglow Falls.

***

GOURMET

I can't stand Tasmanian,

But I'm partial to Romanian.

I trot the globe,

And the more I probe...

The more I like Lo Meinian.

***

RAH! RAH! RAH!

Rhoda the cheerleader

Let nothing impede her.

A bright, bubbly, little hooter;

Known as Rhoda Rooter!

The difference between prose and poetry:

Bobolink am pining for his little lady love..."

or...

"The Eastern Ruby-Crowned Flycatcher is calling it's mate,

Twitter, Twit, Too Whoooo!"

"There are more things in heaven and earth than

are included in the 'Victoria's Secret Catalog,'

Horatio."

Sign on Maternity Ward door:  PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!

***

Sign on Veterinarian's Office door: BACK IN 5 MINUTES.

SIT!  STAY!

GO FIGURE!

James Joyce spent his adult life writing about Irish life...

while living in Paris.

THREADS

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads,

hundreds of tiny threads,

which sew people together through the years.

SIMONE SIGNORET

13 THINGS YOUR PLUMBER

 WON'T TELL YOU...

1. What  water intrusions are (Drips.)

2. What a hand-held evacuator is (Shovel.)

3. What a malfunction receptical is (Drip pan.)

4. What an illumination instrument is (Flashlight.)

5. What a pipe instrument is (Monkey Wrench.)

6. What liquid blockers are (Washers.)

7.  What a compromised layout is (Clogged pipes.) 

8. What tuning up your organ is (Air in the pipes.)

9. What inadequate closures are (Leaks.)

10. What temperature-compromised pipes are (Frozen.)

11. What a Comprehensive Estimate is (Wild guesses.)

12. What a sink trap is (Sink trap.)

13. Shower facilitator (Water heater.)

I was going to join the Society Of Bloggers until I read that members are required to put the initials of the Society after their names in every instance where they appear in the blog.

Copyright HTStone2011