No. 66

"Pleasure's a sin and sometimes sin's a pleasure."

LORD BYRON

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1. Stretching the truth results in...tall tales

and short careers.

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2. Don't lower your standards faster than you 

can ...raise objections.

3. If you put the cart before the horse...

you will have a very confused horse.

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4. Don't take yourself seriously...

or your talent lightly.

5. You can offer a friend...a shoulder to lean

on...one to cry on...a hand up...a leg up...

or just a foot in the door.

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6. For many, thinking is only an option...

feelings rule.

7. For many, feelings are only an option...

thinking rules.

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8. One good turn deserves another...

said the screw.

9. You never forget...those things you

have to do...that you don't want to do.

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10. Never trust conventional wisdom...

it's too conventional

POLITICAL JARGON EXPLAINED...

REVENUE : Taxes

REVENUE ENHANCEMENT: Raise New taxes

NEW RESPONSIBLE SOLUTIONS: My program

TIRED OLD POLITICAL SOLUTIONS: My opponent's program

Dear Count Sneaky, 

       As a long-time reader of your blog, I have found that my eyes water and a headache starts after I read the first hundred words of your blog. Any suggestions?

Sincerely, Maxine Tingle, Silo City.

My dear Maxine, I referred this to Dr. Sugarfoot, who suggested that "You start at

the 101st word and then read the blog, you won't miss much anyway." Thank you, Dr. Sugarfoot, and consider your license revoked.

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Dear Count Sneaky,

       Here in  Bodine City, I work at Hedley Dirigible Works and I do public relations  for the company. The biggest complaint I get is from readers of your blog, "Count Sneaky's Journal," who continue to complain that they are seeing dirigibles in their backyards.  We do not test-fly our dirigibles in any populated areas on the east or west coast.  Our dirigibles are test-flown only in the interior of Greenland by experienced pilots. Our dirigible are flown by both major dirigible lines on regularly established routes.  They do not linger over people's backyard!

I would appreciate your immediate attention to this matter.

Yours truly,

Sturdley Branchwater,  

Public Relations Department

Hedley Dirigible Works

       Model XL450 "Sky Hawk"

      

My dear sir,

       I have referred this matter also to our Dr. Sugarfoot, who loves psychological stuff, and who is something of a psycho himself.  He replies that he has witnessed such abberent behavior before...his wife found him sitting in his chair on the patio

staring into space apparently in a trance. Later he told her he had seen one!  That

was all he would say on the matter...except, "They're here!"

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Dear Count Sneaky,

       I have heard that Section 4, line 17, chapter 3 , paragraph 94 of The Code of Principles, Bill 6739, of the U.S. House of Representatives, Committee for Violations and Aberrant Behavior,the Hon. Hedley Sturdley, Chairman, is a violation of the U.S. Constitution. Is that correct?

Thoughtfully,

Willis Shingles

486 Dirigible Drive, Silo City 

Dear Willis,

      What the jackwagon are you talking about, Willis?

                             

                                 

"Who being loved is poor?"

                                                                  OSCAR WILDE

COUNT SNEAKY'S RULES OF LIFE.

1. First: Learn to Dance

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2. Second: Learn to swim

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3. Third: Learn to drive

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up

with the past."

DON MARQUIS

EYE OPENERS...

  "There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception."

JAMES THURBER

  

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The award above was awarded to me for being me.

It is my very own award, soon to be coveted; or ignored; or despised. It will be awarded(?) from time to time to anyone I deem worthy  for reasons of my own. There are no requirements whatsoever.

CopyrightHTStone2011

NOTE: You are not allowed to leave this blog without a smile, a laugh or feeling better about your life.