Count Sneaky's Journal: No.90

"I often quote myself. It adds spice to the conversation."

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

1. Prevention is free...but

insurance pays for the cure.

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2. Few things in life are as misunderstood...

as the semi-colon.

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3. To insure a happy marriage

there are two rules...

hers and hers.

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4. Mouse Potatoe...One who

spends too much time on the computer and never uses

the spell-checker.

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5. Don't text and drive...unless

it's your last will

and testament.

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6. Have dinner by candle-light...

then pay your electric bill.

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7. Never refer to temptations...

as opportunities.

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8. Never arrive at a conclusion

before your wife...if you do, pass

the time until she gets there

with a few rounds of golf.

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9. There is great satisfaction in

doing things right...but not

great profits.

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10. Many of life's lessons...require homework.

DOMESTICATED WIT...

"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."

OSCAR WILDE

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"His insomnia is so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours."

ARTHUR BAER

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" I never married because there was no need...I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night."

MARIE CORRELLI

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"A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, any more than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table."

JEAN KERR

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"Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."

LOUIS GRIZZARD

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Count Sneaky and Helen