N U M B E R T H R E E
1. In this economy you may have to float a loan to get a root canal.
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2. All work and no playing around makes Jack a good husband.
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3. Contentment is not getting what you want, but remembering where you put what you have.
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4. A ounce of charm is worth a gallon of sincerity.
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5. Love a few; be kind to all; make many feel needed. There ain't much more to it than that.
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6. If you rattle someone's cage, don't be surprised if they punch you through the bars.
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7. A match can be used only once, so be careful whose fire you light.
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8. If you rise to your level of incompetence, ask for a promotion.
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9. Civilization is an excuse to collect taxes and fight bigger wars.
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10. If you know a thing or two, try to make it three or four.
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I would like to thank the few who occasionally send me contributions, even though some try to pass off well-known quotations as their own creative inspiration. This week, one, Hedley Moosescales, Esq. sent me this jewel: "Die, my dear doctor? That's the last thing I shall do!" These are the famous last words of Viscount Henry Palmerston, and when I pointed this out to Hedley, he admitted he had read this somewhere or other at some point in the distant past. I thanked him anyway for his interest in this humble waste of time.
Hedley Moosescales, Esq., his high school yearbook picture.
Inscribed to: " Dear Snookie, love forever. I am with child.! L.
Inscribed to: " Dear Snookie, love forever. I am with child.! L.
