No.18

"Difference in age, my dear? Well, yes. But you also might consider a vast difference in wealth."
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1. Borrow only enough...to live within your income.

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2.  Money can't buy happiness...but it can buy some great ways  to pass the time.
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 3.  You don't have to be crazy to work here...just very disturbed will do.
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4. Politics is a blood sport...using your blood.
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5. It's the trees that keep us... from seeing the forest.
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6. The best place to win hearts and minds...is at the office water cooler.
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7. Sex Education is probably not a good idea... children today are too busy to teach the parents.
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8. I got in touch with my inner child...but he doesn't talk to strangers.
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9. With all problems...some assembly is required.
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10. Your 20/20 hindsight is as good... as your 00/00 forethought.
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TEA TIME.
Most tea contains about a quarter the caffeine as coffee.
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White tea is just steamed and dried. It contains more
antioxidants than green tea and less caffeine.
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Black tea is the same tea just fermented for a good while.
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Green tea is not fermented at all. The leaves are just rolled
 and stored.
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Oolong tea is midway between black tea and green tea in fermentation.
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Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
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Oscar Wilde

PICK A SLOGAN!
1. Drill, Baby, Drill!
2, Pill, Baby, Pill!
3. Shill, Baby, Shill!
4. Thrill, Baby, Thrill!
5. Get Real, Baby, Get Real!
6. Grill, Baby, Grill!
7. Bill, Baby, Bill!
8. Dr. Phil, Baby, Dr. Phil!
9. Good Will, Baby, Good Will!
10. Chill,Baby, Chill!

We are the makers of dreams,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
World lovers and world forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams,
Yet we are the movers and shakers,
Of the world forever, it seems.


 By Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy, 19th Century poet

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"My doctor asked me to supply him with stool samples. I told him

 I would if he would sign a contract!"

We Could Have Been Called:

The United States of Amerigo Vespucci instead of The United States of America.  It was that close. But that is where the name "America"

comes from. Look it up.

DEFINITION: An expert is one who knows his septic tanks inside and out.

Keats Revised:

Silent, upon a peak in Darien (Lost again!),

Abundance of knowledge does not teach men to be wise.

HERACLITUS

Blog Mascot: Strutz the Cat, " Kiss my pajamas!"

Copyright 2010 H.T.Stone

No. 17

"No, my dear Edmund, I am not interested in seeing your etchings or your art school diploma."

1. Everything comes to him who waits...except a haircut.
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2. Follow the example of Dolly Parton...never
hide your lights under a bushel basket.
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3. Give the Devil his due...put it on your credit card.

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4. How does one grease lightning... since it never strikes twice in the same place.

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5. Keep up with the Jones...they're trying to keep up with the Hedleys who are trying to keep up with the Sturdleys who are trying to keep up with their creditors.

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6. If  bars have a "Happy Hour" is the rest of the time there miserable?

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7. Memory is very selective...it always favors your side of the story.

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8. Don't try to play hard ball...unless you can throw some curves.

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9. If you're such a mathematical genius...why hasn't your life added up to anything?

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10. Life is what happens... when you are out to lunch.

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 Excerpts from the the notebook of Gengis Khan
Titled, "The Seven Most Effective Habits of Conquerors:

1. Never , never take "no" for an answer.
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2. Plan ahead...but attack from behind.
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3. Push the envelope until the paradigm shifts.
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4. Being a conqueror is better than being conquered.
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5. The universe may be meaningless...but having
 a thousand concubines ain't.
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6. Never look back...What's gaining on you is your hips.
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7. There is no such thing as too much looting and pillage.
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Submitted by Shedley Tuglow, our  Roving Historical Research correspondent.

 The Starving Artists Sale over at the Hilton last week was declared a success today by Victoria Tingle, our Roving Culture correspondent. Fifteen starving artists were sold along with all their paints and canvases.

Quote of the month.

We do not receive wisdom. We must discover it ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness, which none can make for us, which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world.

Marcel Proust

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like

 and let the food fight it out inside."

Mark Twain

Sturdley Shinglehammer, the world's worst living poet, submits a little doggerel from time to time...

this is another bow-wow:

 A CAUTIONARY TALE

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My mother was a short pea-hen.

My father was a tall penguin.

Every day with dad was formal dress,

But I was just a total mess.

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Then one day I grew anew ,

And turned a bright, beautiful blue.

Now, I'm on daily exhibit,

And, my parents finally get it.

Sturdley Shinglehammer

Quote of the day from Harley Bentbow of Lake Studebaker: 
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"As I told the other driver in court...a simple hand gesture would have been sufficient!" 

Copyright 2010 by HTStone