Wednesday, January 26, 2011

No. 36

"The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only may he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."

SAMUEL BUTLER


1. This is a country where anyone can be elected to political office...it's just a chance we take.
***
2. If pride goes before a fall... what goes before 
a winter?
3. In thirty years of work, I never missed a day...
I still don't.
***
4. Life is about 50% of what you may or not be able to do with it ...and 50% or so is what's left.
***
5. Hard work is as overrated... as easy living is underrated. 
***
6. Fishermen are the only people allowed...to lie.

7. Never overload your wagon...or your shoes.
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8. You came into this world crying...try to 
spend the rest of your time laughing.
9. In order to make both ends meet...you have to see both ends.
***
10. Mankind is capable of resisting everything...but a Krispy Kreme doughnut.



 
 Sturdley Shinglehammer, the world's worst living poet, submits his bi-weekly 
poetical scribblings. Oh, be still, my beating heart!

ORGAN  RECITAL
They took out my heart,
And stitched up the sucker;
Pulled out my gall bladder,
Through my navel pucker;
My prostate was trimmed;
My eye sight is dimmed.
Then came work on my spine,
Now hardly anything's left that's mine.
I suppose it has been a blessing mixed,
'Cause all I've got left is an appendix.

***
RANGOON LAGOON
 See the baboon cross the lagoon,
To get from here to there.
He dances, he prances,
He goes into trances.
What a marvel is his hair,
Like his behind,
So blue and bare.


MARK TWAIN ON PUNCTUATION...
Some people were not born to punctuate; these cannot learn the art. They can only learn a rude fashion of it; they cannot attain to its niceties, for those must be felt; they cannot be reasoned out.  Cast-iron rules will not answer, here, any way; an what is one man's comma is another man's colon.  One man cannot punctuate another man's manuscript any more than one person can make the gestures for another man's speech.

From: "Life As I Find It."


"He (Mark Twain) had one of the more wicked minds going."
TRUMAN CAPOTE
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"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
MARK TWAIN
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"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."
OSCAR WILDE
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"I envy people who drink...at least they know what to blame everything on."
OSCAR LEVANT
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"When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in confederacy against him."
JONATHAN SWIFT
***

All is opinion...at least, that's my opinion.
Copyright 2011 HTStone


6 comments:

TALON said...

Sturdley is in fine form. I'm still laughing at the Rangoon's Lagoon!

I loved the Mark Twain quote on punctuation...maybe an editor or two will learn to agree with it!

Charlie agrees about dogs and told me she's delighted that her mistress is so foolish because that gives her an excuse to be silly all day long :)

Fran said...

Loved the Organ Recital! And Mark Twain is so right. Trying to teach punctuation is a pain, and especially now 'respected' authors are using the comma to string all their sentences together ..

Zamboozee said...

In thirty years of getting older I never regret a moment of not doing so.

timethief said...

I enjoyed all of these so much. Mark Tain's wisdom on punctuation is enduring and that's for sure. Organ recital made me laugh ot loud. :D.

May peace and love be with thee always,
TiTi

desk49 said...

No 36
Wise words to live by or laugh at.

We taught our kids there is a better way to do things. Now they think we should do it for them.

Judie said...

Ah, the beauty of a Krispy Kreme hot off the rollers! Now that's satisfaction!!