Wednesday, February 2, 2011

No.37


I arise from dreams of thee
In the first sweet sleep of the night
When the winds are breathing low,
And the stars are shining bright.
***
PERCY BYSSHE SHELLY
The Indian Serenade, 1819


1. Opportunity knocks... conscience crawls under the door.
***
2. Never part with your illusions...you may want to go into politics.
***
3. Be happy with what you have...until the next sale.
***
4. Lack of common sense...leads to uncommon difficulties.
***
5. Remember...you are not the contents of your "IN"
basket.
***
6. Anyone's life can be improved...start with your own.
7. Be it ever so humble...it still has a mortgage.
***
8. The difference between a friend and an enemy is...you can't hurt an enemy's feelings.
***
9. It is not necessary to...stop and fill in the potholes on the road to ruin.
***
10. In all great chains of events...ignorance is the weakest link.
***
Strutz the cat, blog mascot , "Don't wake me when it's over."

  Sturdley Shinglehammer, the world's worse living poet, our regular Poetry and Doggerel correspondent does his thing this week from Tuglow Falls.
***
GOURMET
I can't stand Tasmanian,
But I'm partial to Romanian.
I trot the globe,
And the more I probe...
The more I like Lo Meinian.
***
RAH! RAH! RAH!
Rhoda the cheerleader
Let nothing impede her.
A bright, bubbly, little hooter;
Known as Rhoda Rooter!

The difference between prose and poetry:
Bobolink am pining for his little lady love..."
or...
"The Eastern Ruby-Crowned Flycatcher is calling it's mate,
Twitter, Twit, Too Whoooo!"

"There are more things in heaven and earth than
are included in the 'Victoria's Secret Catalog,'
Horatio."
Sign on Maternity Ward door:  PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!
***
Sign on Veterinarian's Office door: BACK IN 5 MINUTES.
SIT!  STAY!
GO FIGURE!
James Joyce spent his adult life writing about Irish life...
while living in Paris.
THREADS
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads,
hundreds of tiny threads,
which sew people together through the years.
SIMONE SIGNORET
13 THINGS YOUR PLUMBER
 WON'T TELL YOU...
1. What  water intrusions are (Drips.)
2. What a hand-held evacuator is (Shovel.)
3. What a malfunction receptical is (Drip pan.)
4. What an illumination instrument is (Flashlight.)
5. What a pipe instrument is (Monkey Wrench.)
6. What liquid blockers are (Washers.)
7.  What a compromised layout is (Clogged pipes.) 
8. What tuning up your organ is (Air in the pipes.)
9. What inadequate closures are (Leaks.)
10. What temperature-compromised pipes are (Frozen.)
11. What a Comprehensive Estimate is (Wild guesses.)
12. What a sink trap is (Sink trap.)
13. Shower facilitator (Water heater.)

I was going to join the Society Of Bloggers until I read that members are required to put the initials of the Society after their names in every instance where they appear in the blog.

Copyright HTStone2011



















5 comments:

TALON said...

Rhoda Rooter! lol!

I was thinking the same things about our famous groundhog, Wiarton Willie, who gets the same horrible treatment. I don't think our local groundhogs are jealous at all of the "fame" treatment of their cousins. And they're smart enough to stay out of view until the weather is fine - regardless of the calendar.

I love that drawing of Strutz. He looks suitably unimpressed. Hope you and Helen are both doing well and that the latest snowstorms have missed your area.

Judie said...

Just make sure those Krispy Kremes are hot and puffed!

You have sold me. I must return here on a daily basis to get my fix of Count Sneaky!

AMBIVALENCE said...

Very true indeed! I especially like no's 8 and 9!

Plus you are right, I have not heard "Hark" for a long time, unless you count the Christmas carol "Hark! the herald, angels sing, glory to the new born king." Perhaps you are more likely to hear "Heark back" which is of course different. This of course means, to go back to something, rather than pay close attention to something.

desk49 said...

LOL sometimes your blog hits to close to home.

A sing on a door to the school of the gifted read

Luck number
Eighth prime squared

Anonymous said...

There're enough good points here to start a tropical almanak... that is, if you already haven't.