"The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only may he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
SAMUEL BUTLER
1. This is a country where anyone can be elected to political office...it's just a chance we take.
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2. If pride goes before a fall... what goes before
a winter?
3. In thirty years of work, I never missed a day...
I still don't.
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4. Life is about 50% of what you may or not be able to do with it ...and 50% or so is what's left.
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5. Hard work is as overrated... as easy living is underrated.
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6. Fishermen are the only people allowed...to lie.
7. Never overload your wagon...or your shoes.
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8. You came into this world crying...try to
spend the rest of your time laughing.
9. In order to make both ends meet...you have to see both ends.
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10. Mankind is capable of resisting everything...but a Krispy Kreme doughnut.
Sturdley Shinglehammer, the world's worst living poet, submits his bi-weekly
poetical scribblings. Oh, be still, my beating heart!
ORGAN RECITAL
They took out my heart,
And stitched up the sucker;
Pulled out my gall bladder,
Through my navel pucker;
My prostate was trimmed;
My eye sight is dimmed.
Then came work on my spine,
Now hardly anything's left that's mine.
I suppose it has been a blessing mixed,
'Cause all I've got left is an appendix.
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RANGOON LAGOON
See the baboon cross the lagoon,
To get from here to there.
He dances, he prances,
He goes into trances.
What a marvel is his hair,
Like his behind,
So blue and bare.
MARK TWAIN ON PUNCTUATION...
Some people were not born to punctuate; these cannot learn the art. They can only learn a rude fashion of it; they cannot attain to its niceties, for those must be felt; they cannot be reasoned out. Cast-iron rules will not answer, here, any way; an what is one man's comma is another man's colon. One man cannot punctuate another man's manuscript any more than one person can make the gestures for another man's speech.
From: "Life As I Find It."
"He (Mark Twain) had one of the more wicked minds going."
TRUMAN CAPOTE
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"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
MARK TWAIN
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"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."
OSCAR WILDE
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"I envy people who drink...at least they know what to blame everything on."
OSCAR LEVANT
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"When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in confederacy against him."
JONATHAN SWIFT
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All is opinion...at least, that's my opinion.
Copyright 2011 HTStone
