'twas brilling and the slithy toves,
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths out grabe.
LEWIS CARROLL
***
1. Poise is the art of using a smile ...
rather than a fist.
***
2. Be slow to bad mouth...
but quick to praise.
3. People who look down on others...
are on a high horse.
4. Modesty is the act...of letting others
be themselves.
5. Art is a mirror held up to life...
by people who look into it every morning.
***
6. By the time a person is old enough
to know better...it's too late anyway.
7. Kites rise against the wind...politicians
rise with the wind.
***
8. After work unwind...then rewind
and go again...in the morning.
9. Time is a great healer...but it takes
a good while.
***
10. Life is like a meat loaf... you put
into it whatever you've got.
***
Senator Barfley B. Bodine
***
Our roving Legislature Correspondent, Pamela Paradigm, submits this interview with State Senator, Barfley Bodine on his recent book tour to promote his new tome, "In Regards To Your Previous Memo..." Published
this week by Jackwagon Press.
P.P.: "Good morning all! Our guest this morning is State Senator Barfly Bodine."
B.B.: "Good morning. Barf-ley, Barfley Bodine, Miss Paradigm!"
P.P.: "Oh. Sorry Senator and that's Mrs. Paradigm to you!"
B.B.: "In my book, I address this problem of knowing whom you're talking with."
P.P.: "I'm sure you did, but I would like to ask you what party you belonged
to before you became a conservative independent? Were you a
Republican or Democrat?"
B.B.: "Well, I address this question in my new book,"In Regards to..."
P.P.: "Excuse me, Senator. We know the name of your book. Can you please
address the question we do not have a lot of time on our hands?"
B.B.: "As I was saying, I address this question in my book. I will not repeat
the title again , I would like to thank my editor, the lovely Rita Bonita at
Jackwagon Press for asking me to put my thoughts into a book. And to Trixie
Tingle for many hours of research. Now, as to the question of my previous party
affiliation, I was an independent before I became a Republican and a
Democrat. I was then a Republican before I became a Democrat, I was then a
Democrat before I became a...well, Independent. I hope that answers your
question, young lady. If you have any more questions...see my book."
P.P.: "OK, Senator. Let's move on. Can you tell us your plans for the coming session?"
B.B.: "In my book, I address this question. My re-election campaign is based on
my years of service to my constituents before I wrote my book,"In Regards To..."
P.P.: "Senator...will you please, pretty please, stop plugging your crummy book."
B.B.: "Young lady, my re-election plans are clearly outlined in Chapter 10 of my..."
P.P.: "Your blankety-blank little book, Senator Barfly! I have had it with your
idiotic blankety-blank 100 page so-called book! As well as you, Senator! Catch!
(She flings book at the Senator barely missing his head.)
B.B.: "Now, now Miss Whatever-Your-Name-Is! Calm down! Would you like me to
autograph that copy of my new book for you that you just threw at me?"
(Fade to closing credits as Pamela Paradigm is restrained by two sound men
and an assistant director after unleashing a blistering barrage of profanity
that would have brought tears to the eyes of any able-minded seaman.
Senator Bodine was ushered out of the studio back door by the producer
still clutching his autographed copy of "In Regards To Your Previous Memo...")
***
***
LITERARY CORNER
"No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter
someone else's draft."
H.G. Wells
***
Believe it or not: Muammar Gaddafi has written a children's book.
It is titled, "The Village, The Village, The Earth...And The
Suicide Of The Spaceman."
***
The importance of names in literary work:
HAMLET by William Shakespeare
CAST OF CHARACTERS
BILL, King of Denmark
TRUDY, Queen of Denmark
HAMLET, Nephew to present king
PEABODY, Friend to Hamlet
WILLIE, Son to Jethro
HARRIET, Daughter to Jethro
DUDLEY, Lord Chamberlain
***
NEW TITLES
1. Idiot's Guide to Building Birch Bark Canoes.
2. Short History of Tall People.
3. Introduction To Humorous Mathematical Equations.
4. Collecting RC's And Moon Pies.
5. Memoirs Of A Bungee Jumper.
6. For Whom The League Bowls.
7. Floss Your Way To Success.
8. Teaching A New Dog Old Tricks.
9. Raising Slugs For Fun And Profit.
10. Writing Bodice Rippers.
***
Wait! Don't leave this blog until you have smiled out loud
and pledged to pass it on to someone else.
Copyright HTStone 2011.
