Friday, April 8, 2011

No. 47

'twas brilling and the slithy toves,
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths out grabe.
LEWIS CARROLL
***
 1. Poise is the art of using a smile ...
rather than a fist.
***
2. Be slow to bad mouth...
but quick to praise.
3. People who look down on others...
are on a high horse.

4. Modesty is the act...of letting others 
be themselves.
5. Art is a mirror held up to life... 
by people who look into it every morning.
***
6. By the time a person is old enough
to know better...it's too late anyway.
7. Kites rise against the wind...politicians 
rise with the wind.
***
8. After work unwind...then rewind
and go again...in the morning.
9. Time is a great healer...but it takes
a good while.
***
10. Life is like a meat loaf... you put
into it whatever you've got.
***

Senator Barfley B.  Bodine
***
Our roving Legislature Correspondent, Pamela Paradigm, submits this interview with  State Senator, Barfley Bodine on his recent book tour to promote his new tome, "In Regards To Your Previous Memo..." Published
this week by Jackwagon  Press.

P.P.: "Good morning all! Our guest this morning is State Senator Barfly Bodine."

B.B.: "Good morning. Barf-ley, Barfley Bodine, Miss Paradigm!"

P.P.: "Oh. Sorry Senator and that's Mrs. Paradigm to you!"

B.B.: "In my book, I address this problem of knowing whom you're talking with."

P.P.: "I'm sure you did, but I would like to ask you what party you belonged

 to before you became a conservative independent?  Were you a

 Republican or Democrat?"

B.B.: "Well, I address this question in my new book,"In Regards to..."

P.P.: "Excuse me, Senator. We know the name of your book. Can you please 

address the question we do not have a lot of time on our hands?"

B.B.: "As I was saying, I address this question in my book. I will not repeat 

the title again , I would like to thank my editor, the lovely Rita Bonita at 

Jackwagon Press for asking me to put my thoughts into a book. And to Trixie 

Tingle for many hours of research.  Now, as to the question of my previous party 

affiliation,  I was an independent before I became a Republican and a

 Democrat. I was then a Republican before I became a Democrat, I was then a 

Democrat before I became a...well, Independent. I hope that answers your

 question, young lady. If you have any more questions...see my book."

P.P.: "OK, Senator. Let's move on. Can you tell us your plans for the coming session?"

B.B.: "In my book, I address this question. My re-election campaign is based on

 my  years of service to my constituents before I wrote my book,"In Regards To..."

P.P.: "Senator...will you please, pretty please, stop plugging your crummy book."

B.B.: "Young lady, my re-election plans are clearly outlined in Chapter 10 of my..."

P.P.: "Your blankety-blank little book, Senator Barfly! I have had it with your

 idiotic blankety-blank 100 page so-called book! As well as you, Senator! Catch!

(She flings book at the Senator barely missing his head.)

B.B.: "Now, now Miss Whatever-Your-Name-Is! Calm down! Would you like me to 

autograph that copy of my new book for you that you just threw at me?"

(Fade to closing credits as Pamela Paradigm is restrained by two sound men

and an assistant director after unleashing a blistering barrage of profanity 

that would  have brought tears to the eyes of any able-minded seaman. 

 Senator Bodine was ushered out of the studio back door by the producer

 still clutching his autographed copy of "In Regards To Your Previous Memo...")
                                                   ***
 ***

LITERARY  CORNER
"No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter
 someone else's draft."
H.G. Wells
***
Believe it or not: Muammar Gaddafi has written a children's book.
It is titled, "The Village, The Village, The Earth...And The 
Suicide Of The Spaceman."
***
The importance of names in literary work:
HAMLET by William Shakespeare

CAST OF CHARACTERS

BILL, King of Denmark

TRUDY, Queen of Denmark

HAMLET, Nephew to present king

PEABODY, Friend to Hamlet

WILLIE, Son to Jethro

HARRIET, Daughter to Jethro

DUDLEY, Lord Chamberlain

*** 
NEW TITLES

1. Idiot's Guide to Building Birch Bark Canoes.

2. Short History of  Tall People.

3. Introduction To Humorous Mathematical Equations.

4. Collecting RC's And Moon Pies.

5. Memoirs Of A Bungee Jumper.

6.  For Whom The League Bowls.

7. Floss Your Way To Success.

8. Teaching A New Dog Old Tricks.

9. Raising Slugs For Fun And Profit.

10. Writing Bodice Rippers.

***
Wait! Don't leave this blog until you have smiled out loud
and pledged to pass it on to someone else.
Copyright HTStone 2011.



13 comments:

Judie said...

Politicians just keep getting worse and worse, don't they? You always make me laugh, H!

Yun Yi said...

Very inspiring.
My favorite are:
Modesty is the act...of letting others
be themselves.

Art is a mirror held up to life...
by people who look into it every morning.

desk49 said...

I loved the interview.

Count Sneaky said...

JUDIE: Without politicians...well, humorists would be almost out of business. But, of course, there are still the chronic dust-ups between men and women! Making you laugh is my pleasure.

Count Sneaky said...

ELLIS: Thanks, I'm glad you did. I'm going to run more of these
political fiascos as soon as I can get my roving correspondents out there and write them up. Meanwhile, the national political arena is providing laughs for every citizen.

Count Sneaky said...

YUN YIN: Thank you. I try to be inspiring when I can. Usually though, I'll settle for a laugh or two.

Chris said...

Haha, I choose #3 and #6 as mottos for today, because I don't feel like taking life seriously... Even though it's trying its best to make me.

THE SNEE said...

Hi Count Sneaky,
Your interview of barf lee, barley barfly made me laugh at loud rather than despair which given the politics today is a welcome, welcome relief! I also loved this quote, "Art is a mirror held up to life by people who look into it every morning". I like it so well because my Dad use to f- with my head as a teen. He'd ask me whether I was sure that the mirror accurately represented me, or was it a distortion? When I asked him if it was. He said, can you be sure I'll tell you the truth? UH? Ye...s! But did he? No. I'm left to my own devices to figure out the whole reflection thing. Does anyone know the truth about mirrors?

Count Sneaky said...

CHRIS: You are quite right not to take every day seriously. W e all need a little time off from time to time (like every other day!) and don't let it get the best of you. My daily mantra is: If there is one thing to be said for indifference it is...it works. Come back often. My best.

Count Sneaky said...

THE SNEE: So glad you enjoyed Pamela Paradigm and her disastrous interview with Sen. Bodine. There will be more interviews with various politicos and other assorted giant brains.
The mirror does represent a distortion or reversal of our features that we take for granted. Yet, I have never heard anyone complain about their mirror images as they do about photographic images. My best.

TALON said...

There's a certain comfort in No. 6, Henry, and a lot of wisdom.

We're gearing up for a Federal election here next month so I'm overdosing on politics right now...and not enjoying them as much as Senator Bodine's interview - lol!

Count Sneaky said...

I don't know about the wisdom, but it is comforting.
Sen. Barfly Bodine...oops Barfley Bodine will be back soon. His current book tour was cancelled by his publisher for lack of interest to interview shows and he has returned to his Senate seat to pay bills and do his taxes.

Paul said...

With this PhD thesis from LSE (The Role Of Civil Society In The Democratisation Of Global Governance Institutions: From ‘Soft Power’ to Collective Decision-Making?), what else we can't expect from the Gaddafis....

After seeing Jabberwocky, I tried googling for the Senator...

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, like Hamlet have also been immortalized...(them by Tom Stoppard), while the rest of us mortals limited to be able to be inspired by the weekly top-ten wisdom....