"Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man."
MARGARET MEAD
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1. If you would avoid temptation...
refer to it as opportunity.
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2. All sky divers marry...
beneath them.
3. Your shoes haven't been broken in yet...
much less your mind.
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4. If it were as easy to make money as it is to make enemies...
we should all be rich.
5. It's up to you whether you want to make
a contribution... to the collective madness.
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6. Wisdom rides on the back seat...
not behind the wheel.
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7. Experience is relative...the more relatives
you have, the more experience you have.
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8. Keep your eyes on the prize...buy a
lottery ticket.
9. To make a long story short...cut it
in half.
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10. A book is the only thing outside of a church program that carries no advertising...and
I'm not too sure about the church program.
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Letter to Station Manager, Hedley Bodine, WBUL/ AM/ FM/TV/VHS
from Senator Senator Barfley Bodine...
Dear cousin Hedley,
My recent appearance on your station's "Shifting Paradigms" interview
show to promote my new book, was a complete disaster. I have never been so humiliated as I was by Ms. Pamela Paradigm's insolence and refusal to discuss my new book. She has publicly humiliated me and sales of my new book have plummeted. As you know, Hed, we Bodines have made our way in the world by sticking together , and I'm asking for your help in selling my new book on another interview show on your stations and for the firing of Ms. Paradigm which we discussed over dinner at Aunt Lucy's last evening. This harridan has to go. After talking over my new book with Uncle Barlow, the chairman of the board, he agreed with the dismissal of the damsel. Ha! I made a funny! I will put that in my new book. Thanks again, Cuz, and I will get those autographed copies of my new book and a little "thank you" to you this week.
(Signed) Barf
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BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
You can bear your faults, why not your wife's?
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Many would live by their wits, but break for want of stock.
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Many complain of their memory, few of their judgement.
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It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.
People are either charming or tedious.
OSCAR WILDE
Pessimist: one who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.
OSCAR WILDE
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My very own award, soon to be coveted; or ignored; or despised.
It will be awarded(?) from time to time to anyone I deem worthy for
reasons of my own. There are no requirements whatsoever.
You might, if you like, write an acknowledgement or a decline of award
statement, or nothing at all, if you prefer. The first recipient of the
Award is my friend, Gary Phillip Pennick of "Klahanie. blogspot.com"
for being Gary, a good friend!
Huzzah!
(APPLAUSE)
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CopyrightHTStone2011
