Thursday, September 2, 2010

No. 19


"Nothing is so useless as a general maxim."
    Thomas Macaulay
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 (THIS IS WHY I ONLY WRITE GENERIC MAXIMS! Count Sneaky)


1. Good habits are like whiskers...slow to form, but easy to get rid of.
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2. The quick brown fox lost his tail by jumping over one sleeping dog too many.
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3. Politics is a dirty job...but someone has to do it.
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4. Ever feel like an air traffic controller at a one airplane airport.
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5. A mortgage is a device... to combine the illusion of ownership with the reality of rent.
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6.  If life has become a senseless whirl for you...turn it into a waltz.
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7. Forget your lost youth... someone else has found it by now.
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8. Full maturity is reached... when you can look in the mirror and laugh.
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9. They call it a bridal path...because she gets the reins and he gets the bit between his teeth.
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10. If  Trouble is your middle name...your parents had a weird sense of humor.
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Read to your kids. After a long day at work you need the quiet time and the help.

It is in those acts which we call trivialities that the seeds of joy are forever wasted.
George Eliot


Put a little life into your life!

Time, the corrector where our judgements err; the test of life and love;
the sole philosopher for all beside are sophists.
Lord Byron

This is the only letter with three syllables...Oh, be still, my heart!


Shown above is the new Sturdley Eye Chart invented by HarlowP./Sturdley, C.D.,O.D.,D.V.D.,
 of Tugwell Falls. It is said to be the latest in eye-charts for opticians and those who fit 
sunglasses in drugstores. Sturdley is Director of Research 
for the Tuglow Falls College of Opticians and Metaphysicians.


Training is everything...cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain


Heaven for climate. Hell for company.
Mark Twain


Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only
sure defence.
Mark Twain

NAP ON IT!
Copyright H.T.Stone 2010

3 comments:

TALON said...

Gosh that hammock looks inviting!

I am so glad that quick brown fox got a little comeuppance because I typed him and typed him and typed him back in school until I couldn't stand him - lol!

Number 1 is so true...which makes me wonder what bad habits are like!

Mark Twain's heaven/hell quote is awesome.

Tony Single said...

Count, another worthy collection of clever wordage. Brilliant. I especially loved this:

"Nothing is so useless as a general maxim."

That had me chuckling for a good long while. :P

klahanie said...

Greetings Count Sneaky,
Brilliant, witty and even profound. I shall look in the mirror, laugh and wonder who has my 'lost' youth.
Have a peaceful week.
Kind regards, Gary.