Friday, November 5, 2010

No. 28

"Singin' in the rain, just singin' in the rain.
What a glorious feelin', I'm happy again!"

1. If you plan on going the extra mile...make sure you have the extra gas.
2. If you know the difference between its and it' too could be a writer.

3. With apologies to Bo Diddley..."Botox, Botox, where you been.? Round the face an' goin' again!"
4. You can't have your cake and eat it too...unless you own the bakery.
5. If you're going to Hell in a hand basket anyway...why not pack a picnic basket and several bottles of good wine?
6. Separating the men from the boys...takes years.
7. Your 20/20 hindsight is equal to...your lack of 20/20 foresight.
8. If you think everything is an opportunity...try Russian roulette.
9. Asking the wolf what he is doing in sheep's dangerous.
10. Impress your enemies, confuse your friends...think before you act.
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
 Fool that I am , I promised Sturdley Shinglehammer, the world's worst living poet, to run part of his uncompleted (deservedly so) magnum opus, so here 
'tis in all it's unedited glory:
By Sturdley Shinglehammer

An Archdevil named Pride was very tall,
But his demon Afall could only crawl,
And had to be told,
In words icy cold,
"Pride always goeth before Afall!"

While herding motivational speakers,
They would take away their sneakers,
And watch them travel,
Barefoot over gravel,
And become motivated streakers.

A demon who was in charge of Obscene,
Fell in love with a porno queen,
But he was demoted,
And they had him coated,
Head to toe in slime green.

Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: O Lord, give us
strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful
with them, oh Lord for they know not what they are doing. Amen
WILL ROGERS (1879-1935)


To my dear wife Helen for being my wife for fifty-five years.
OCTOBER 28, 2010


TALON said...

Happy Happy Anniversary, Henry and Helen! Fifty-five years - that's truly wonderful!

Sturdley Shinglehammer is in fine voice - I don't know which I like better they were all so great! (and I'm glad you didn't break your promise to him)

I laughed out loud at number 2!

desk49 said...

To the last a con-rat
for 55 We're not at
Tho, the wife said its fine
we'll get there in time

klahanie said...

Hi Count Sneaky aka Henry,
I'm getting a great delight out of reading your lists. I can list to the right and to the left.
Anyway, just wanted to wish you and your good lady, Helen, a rather belated, happy 55th wedding anniversary.
With respect and good wishes, Gary.