"Singin' in the rain, just singin' in the rain.
What a glorious feelin', I'm happy again!"
1. If you plan on going the extra mile...make sure you have the extra gas.
2. If you know the difference between its and it's...you too could be a writer.
3. With apologies to Bo Diddley..."Botox, Botox, where you been.? Round the face an' goin' again!"
4. You can't have your cake and eat it too...unless you own the bakery.
5. If you're going to Hell in a hand basket anyway...why not pack a picnic basket and several bottles of good wine?
6. Separating the men from the boys...takes years.
7. Your 20/20 hindsight is equal to...your lack of 20/20 foresight.
8. If you think everything is an opportunity...try Russian roulette.
9. Asking the wolf what he is doing in sheep's clothing...is dangerous.
10. Impress your enemies, confuse your friends...think before you act.
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
Fool that I am , I promised Sturdley Shinglehammer, the world's worst living poet, to run part of his uncompleted (deservedly so) magnum opus, so here
'tis in all it's unedited glory:
SHADES OF HADES
By Sturdley Shinglehammer
An Archdevil named Pride was very tall,
But his demon Afall could only crawl,
And had to be told,
In words icy cold,
"Pride always goeth before Afall!"
While herding motivational speakers,
They would take away their sneakers,
And watch them travel,
Barefoot over gravel,
And become motivated streakers.
A demon who was in charge of Obscene,
Fell in love with a porno queen,
But he was demoted,
And they had him coated,
Head to toe in slime green.
Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: O Lord, give us
strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful
with them, oh Lord for they know not what they are doing. Amen
WILL ROGERS (1879-1935)
To my dear wife Helen for being my wife for fifty-five years.
OCTOBER 28, 2010