Friday, May 20, 2011

No. 53



Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
You're not pleasing me at all;
I know you cannot lie, forsooth,
But can't you slightly bend the truth?

NORA B. KATHRINS
***

1. Apologize sincerely and if that doesn't
 work...send in the clowns.
***
2. Take the heat...but get the heck out 
of the kitchen.
***

3. Spend your life as if you were...
buying good will.
***
4. Perhaps then,the meaning of life is...
death and taxes.

5. Experience is the best teacher...if the 
manual is not available, and you have good
health and life insurance.
***
6. He was so cool... he had cup-holders 
on his stroller.
***

7. I keep telling myself to do this or that...
but myself doesn't listen.
***
8. A writer must know how to...sew a split infinitive back together.
***
9. If you've tried all seven deadly sins...
which one is your favorite?
***
10. If you have a bird in hand... don't try
driving a manual transmission.
***
"Buy land. They ain' t making any more of the stuff."
WILL ROGERS
***
"You can't say civilizations don't advance, because they
kill you in a new way in each way."
WILL ROGERS
***
"Today it is fashionable to talk about the poor...
unfortunately, it is not fashionable to talk to them"
MOTHER TERESA
***
"I have given up reading books; I find it takes my 
mind off myself."
OSCAR LEVANT
***

"I was for the bill before I was against it. But in all fairness, my vote was mistakenly cast in my absence by my assistant  Trisha Bleachly, or I would have cast my vote before I was for the bill I was once against and I have been consistently for over the last session and I regret the confusion of my views caused by Miss Bleachly who knew my position against this bill that I was against consistently and well as for before I was ...
uh, uh, and I will make my views clear just as soon as t he issue is cleared up by the majority leader. Thank you, my  fellow Americans."
***
***
____________________________________________
By the shores of Gitchee Gumme,
By the shining big sea waters,
Stands the New Development of,
GITCHEE GUMME SHORES.


DEVELOPED BY "Hi" Wather Company.
2 , 3, 4 bedroom wigwam condominiums
starting at $500,000.
***
Contact: Minnie Hahah 
at Laughing Waters Realty,
Downtown next to the Wayside Inn
under the spreading chestnut tree.






***

"Garrison Keillor says that cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose... ya know the boy's right. Deal with it."
***
WAIT!  DON'T LEAVE THIS BLOG UNTIL YOU
HAVE A SMILE TO PASS ALONG TO SOMEONE ELSE.
***





My very own award, soon to be coveted; or ignored; or despised.
It will be awarded(?) from time to time to anyone I deem worthy  for
 reasons of my own. There are no requirements whatsoever.
You might, if you like, write an acknowledgement or a decline of award
 statement, or nothing at all, if you prefer. The first recipient of the
Award is my friend, Gary Phillip Pennick of "Klahanie. blogspot.com"
for being Gary, a good friend!
Huzzah!
(APPLAUSE)
***
CopyrightHTStone2011

11 comments:

TALON said...

Wow! Those air castles are pricey! :)

Will Rogers and Mother Teresa - both very wise.

Strutz is thrilled by Keillor's observation. I know Stripey and Missy will be when I tell them :)

Hope you and Helen have a lovely weekend, Henry!

Thought Bubble Ten said...

Why ask the mirror to bend the *truth*? Why not *bend* the mind and create a different reality/relative truth? :)

Count Sneaky said...

TBT: Good thought. I asked the mirror for all the help I could get and I
received this reply, "Look, bending I can handle...but you need Photoshop! So, I'm leaving the "truth" alone. I can handle it! My best.

Thought Bubble Ten said...

Even the *best* seem to need Photoshop, so you'd have been in *good* company should you have chosen to :).

Paul said...

Don't worry Count, the Koreans are now top-notched in fixing folks' noses, cheekbones and everything (after taken the coveted top spot from the Japanese). The Taiwanese are keeping up at the second spot and claimed to have done major stuffs for entertainers from HK at a cheaper price. News had it that they can do something with man's belly too...give it a thought Count..:):)

TBT, as a long time practitioner of meditation, I can certainly bend my mind to a perfect self-image during (deep) meditation. But once I'm out of meditation, and my scientific mind takes over, I can't honestly lie to my mirror....(poor me...may be you can do it better...who knows!)

Paul said...

As always, I love the cat's wisdom, Count, next time if your apology doesn't work, send in the cat, whoever having a higher expectation knows that she got no other choice but has to deal with it, and to live it too....and I'm not only talking about your beloved wife....:):)

SprigBlossoms said...

Superb, as always!

I'll heed your advice about:

... not getting grilled in the kitchen.

...learning a thing or two about experience only from the experienced.

...not driving with my hand-full : )

Judie said...

Henry, thanks for your two nice comments on my post! I'm glad you liked my poem to Di. She is truly an inspiration. Unfortunately, the things she inspires are usually either very bizarre, or against the law. If I ever go to jail, she will be the reason I was arrested in the first place.

Senator Dangle's remarks sound as if I only heard them yesterday. Oh, and the day before that, and the day before that, and...

GEM said...

Hello Count Sneaky

I'm definately number 7, I'm very good at talking myself out of doing when I should do! Another enjoyable read, many thanks.

Take care
GEM

Thought Bubble Ten said...

@ Paul Hey Paul, bending the mind is more about bending (or completely replacing) beliefs and intentions relating to our self-image ;). Now, in my experience, this can result in changing habits (mental, physical and emotional) that will influence us on all levels including (Yes!) the physical :)

Misha said...

Hehehe I'm so glad that you commented on my blog. Really enjoyed this post. :-)