Friday, May 13, 2011

No. 52


Who is not attracted by pleasant children,
to prattle, to creep, and to play with them.
Epictetus
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1. Left alone most things will improve themselves...except debt and love affairs.
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2. It's safer to be a big fish in a small pond...rather than a small fish in a big fan.
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3. Forget what you were supposed to forgive...remember.
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4. Always be modest...and proud of it.

5. All men are equal...in sleep.
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6. Marry above your station... and you will always have a stationmaster.
7. Aristotle never had a kid in college...with a credit card.
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8. Never tell people about the "good ol' days"... keep it a secret.
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9.  May others do unto you...as you would do unto others with the same interests and place in society.
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10. If a thing is worth doing...it is worth getting someone else to try it first and then learn from their mistakes.
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"Spiced mice are nice...but, jellied goldfish are delish."


A pessimist?  That's a person who has been intimately acquainted
with an optimist.
ELBERT HUBBARD


The optimist proclaims that this is the best of all possible worlds,
 and the pessimist fears this is true.JAMES BRANCH CABELL


A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
DON MARQUIS


Mrs. Pam Paradigm sent the following e-mail to Senator Barfley Bodine
after their recent fiasco on her TV interview show, "Paradigm Shift.":


Sen. Barfley: Rarely has it been my displeasure to conduct an interview with a public servant (That's you, Bozo) whose only interest was in pedalling a book of dubious anecdotes and insipid prose.
I had some carefully researched and insightful questions to ask you about your current positions on subjects your constituents are interested in ( Repeat after me, con-stit-u-ents.) After wasting my time as well as my viewers time with your relentless marketing efforts.
You walked off the program,leaving me with 15 minutes of air  time to fill. In sum, I feel that you are a bifurcated old blunderbuss...a melon- stomping, hog-rolling, barn-burning, bung-starting old dunderhead... and pious,old podium pounding blockhead. To close, my dear old cooter-catching, stump-jumping, slip-sliding, bump-thumping, old thunderump, I have cleaned up my language for public consumption, but, what I said as you left the interview chair still stands.  With the greatest disrespect, I am Pam Paradigm, you ol' sumabich ( that's
French for "public servant")



The buck stopped here. It was out of gas.


A TOAST...
To every lovely lady bright,
I wish a gallant faithful knight;
To every faithful lover too,
I wish a trusting lady true.
Sir Walter Scott




My very own award, soon to be coveted; or ignored; or despised.
It will be awarded(?) from time to time to anyone I deem worthy  for
 reasons of my own. There are no requirements whatsoever.
You might, if you like, write an acknowledgement or a decline of award
 statement, or nothing at all, if you prefer. The first recipient of the
Award is my friend, Gary Phillip Pennick of "Klahanie. blogspot.com"
for being Gary, a good friend!
Huzzah!
(APPLAUSE)
***
CopyrightHTStone2011

8 comments:

Greg said...

Love number one and number two! If number one wasn't true our country would be running a surplus.

TALON said...

Strutz looks good with the Cheshire grin :)

I've never heard that James Branch Cabell quote before, but I love it!

I hope you and Helen have a beautiful weekend!

Word Nerd said...

I need to visit you more often. It always makes me happy. (And really, that's not just sucking up for an award. Really.) ;O)

I’m blogging my way back from Z to A and yes, I do realize that is evidence of my insanity.
Peek-a-Boo! I See You! Writing Fictional Characters
and
Overachieving is Overrated

Judie said...

I am a firm believer in #10!! Great post, H.!

Paul said...

I love the top tens here better than Letterman's, and I shall nominate the Cat for gourmet-of-the-year...plus best-Letterman-look-alike-of-the-week. As for the Senator, he certainly is the one who is responsible for spreading "pessimism" (among other things) around here...let's organize a sit-in!

SprigBlossoms said...

No.3: True, we easily forget what we are supposed to remember
No.4: Haha, no need to be shy about being modest ; )

....and here is a big 'Hi' for Sugarfoot of mischief's afoot, and Strutz with his sweet tooth : )

Thought Bubble Ten said...

Just discovered you through sb's blog and love everything I see and read here - from your nom de plume (wish I'd thought of something like that) to the self-description and the look and feel of your blog! Oh, what joy to have found you :)

THE SNEE said...

I like the the optimism juxtaposed with the pessimism. Which one am I? LOVE, love, love, "The buck stops here out of gas". I feel like that sometimes.

Thanks for the tasty word refreshments Count Sneaky!