Wednesday, August 4, 2010


1. When the blind lead the blind...it's called politics.
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2. Perhaps, you have just been shot out of the cannon one time too many.
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3. If  your wild oats have turned to bran flakes...perhaps it's time to go organic.
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4. Why has no one ever written a book entitled... "How to Attract Wealth and Success to Others"?
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5. Time cures all things...except hair loss.
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6. It's time to consider your previous behavior ...when you wife wants a gun and a box of ammo for her birthday.
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7. Work off a little frustration...try slamming that revolving door.
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8.  If there were no politicians...there would be no Interstate Highways in Hawaii.
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9.  Stupidity takes its toll...please have tokens or correct change ready before you arrive at toll booth.
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10. English is your mother tongue... if your father only said,"Yes, but.."
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Our Roving Correspondent for Domestic Affairs, Hedley Bookcooker, Jr., submits this little jewel after having a new, Radio Shack Pacemaker installed last  Thursday over at Nugent City Clinic.

EFFECTIVE EUPHENISMS ENDING EMPLOYMENT.
Management tools of today are far more extensive than you would imagine and employed with great verve and a desire to ease the trauma of losing a job. One no longer gets "fired" or "loses" ...one now gets: Non-retained; Dehired; Transitioned out; becomes part of an involuntary force reduction; streamlining; rightsizing; a focused reduction; scaled down work force; reducing staff duplication; better managing staff resources; to be part of a deselection process to insure company viability and existence in a severe market climate; modernization move to appease stockholders; skill level requirement has been raised in
your staff position; company unable to meet demands of market in today's climate and must reduce employee benefits and psitions; in order to bolster the economy, we all have to make sacrifices (We're starting with you); consider this an opportunity to redirect your life, to pause, and consider your goals; we are here to make this transition as painless as possible and to offer you our best wishes in your new employment.  One can only wonder how many ways there are to skin a cat. Hedley Bookcooker, Jr., Roving Correspondent.
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Willy fell in love with a lovely filly,
Everyone said she was a dilly,
  But she weighed 664,
And got stuck in the door.
So they had to make love willy-nilly!

By Sturdley Shinglehammer, the World's Worst Living Poet

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Question of the month...
What was Kramer's first name on "Seinfeld?"
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Health Hint for the Week: When out in public facilities and before dining, wash your hands carefully...you don't know where that soap has been.
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7 comments:

TALON said...

I laughed out loud at the limerick, Count Sneaky!

No 9 is so true. Unfortunately, the stupid ones never have the correct change :)

Hope all is well and you're not having to deal with the extreme heat!

Tony Single said...

Count, you have a wonderful take on politics, wonderful and true! :P

All of these drawings are exquisite as always, but I especially love that airship. Marvellous! :)

雅王任 said...

Make hay while the sun shines...................................................

human being said...

well... now i know soaps in public facilities and voting have something in common... they are like slamming a revolving door...

better not to celebrate our birthdays at all... and spend the time making some inovative doors... so that we can attract some more wealth and success to others...
;)



you rock, Count Sneaky!

klahanie said...

Hi Count Sneaky,
Another very clever and highly amusing list you have submitted here. I really like the overall set up of your site. Very pleasing to view.
And speaking of revolving doors; it reminds me of that saying, 'when one door closes, another one slams in your face' :-)
Have a peaceful and pleasant weekend, Gary.

文王廷 said...

我從來不認為不同意我的看法就是冒犯................................................

雅王任 said...

原來這世上能跟你共同領略一個笑話的人竟如此難得......................................................................