Thursday, October 14, 2010

No. 25

 "One is not born a becomes one."  

1. The least used ability that humans have is... listening to other humans.
2. See no evil, think no evil, and speak no evil... and you will be a boring conversationalist.
3. If you appear "unkempt" in appearance...there will always be some woman who will want to "kempt" you. 
4. Sometimes things get better, sometimes they get worse... Sometimes they don't even remember your name.
5. Time goes by and waves...I wave back and go about my business.
6. The eternal optimist stands before the firing squad...and believes they are loading their rifles with blanks.
7. The big question is not, can it be done... but who are you going to get to try it first.
8. The only remedy for self importance is...a dose of humility or marriage.
9. A fool and his money are soon parted...but not before having a good time.
10. It's conventional wisdom that the private sector knows best...but isn't that where most politicians come from?

"Can one desire too much of a good thing?"
Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act IV
"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful."
Mae West, quoted in "Wit and Wisdom of Mae West."

"Nothing to excess."
SOLON,  6th century B.C.
"Nothing succeeds like excess."

Hedley von Headlong, our roving correspondent over at Walroon City, writes to say that given the current craze for self-improvement, positive goal-oriented, effective secrets of gaining wealth, and marrying above you, he attended a seminar given by Sturdley Shingle, the noted author and speaker.  The title of the seminar was "Getting It All and Keeping Most of It." According to Hedley, it not only left one excited to leave the seminar and get started  making their fortunes and turning their miserable, little lives into a glorious set of possibilities  emblazoned with the accumulation of wealth, fame, and the ability to speak foreign languages and attend international events that determine the course of world events by invitation, and to plunk down 150 simoleons for 3 CDs recapturing the magic of 6 hours in the throes of enthusiasm, imagination, and the start of a daily regimen of thought that will produce unbelievable positive thinking as used by effective people with "Secrets" and other stuff that will finally enable you to join that small,  select group of leaders that gyre and gimble past the slithy troves...Forgive me. Hedley  got carried away here...but not far enough. 

I'm all a twitter,
This morning I tweeted,
Yesterday I tweeted,
Tomorrow I will tweet,
Then I will have tweeted 
for a week...
I'm going to tweet,
I'm all a twitter...
Tweet, tweet, tweet,
All the little birdies go
Tweet, tweet, tweet!
Sturdley Shinglehammer

Are you one of those millions of Americans who are afflicted with PELADOPHOBIA?
There is no need to suffer this devastating condition any longer, just try "Captain Hedley's
Magic Elixar and Expectorant." Some report results even before leaving the store.
A 16 oz. bottle is only a buck fifty at all leading and some ordinary drug stores.

Copyright 2010 HTStone


TALON said...

Sturdley Shinglehammer is turning out one poetic gem after another! I don't tweet...I don't really get the whole tweet thing. I can hardly keep up with what I'm doing, never mind having to try to keep up with potentially l,000,000's of other people.

Count Sneaky, Number 5 - "Time goes by and waves...I wave back and go about my business." is going to be my new life mantra! I love it!

Tony Single said...

'Tis a good thing that my better half does not try to kempt me, but even if she did I'm sure there'd be an expectorant somewhere that would clear that right up! :P

desk49 said...

A mess of good sayings one to ten
With a tweeting poem thrown in
A class so I can get rich
And now my Peladophobia
I can fix

Thanks Count Sneaky