Saturday, May 8, 2010

GenericMaxims #2

 
N     U     M      B      E      R        T      W      O

1. Absence of conflict does not mean you have good communication, it means you have the final divorce decree.
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2. If you wish to make yourself miserable...go for the best instead of good enough.
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3.Never pull out all the stops...save three or four you may need them.
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4. Lower your expectations to better reflect your abilities.
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5. Do not part with your cherished illusions...they probably cost you a fortune.
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6. Good looks will carry you only so far...but that's close enough to fake it.
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7. Don't follow too closely if you're uninsured, unarmed, and unstable.
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8. I wonder where to invest the time I've saved during Daylight Savings Time?
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9. Nothing is more boring than a good example.
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10. Call your mother-in-law today and wish her well...
she will revise her opinion of you... after she gets over the shock.
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None of the above maxims were written by Mr. Sturdley J. Dumploader, Esq., or in any way contributed to by Mr. Dumplloader or any of his siblings, children or distant relatives, or heirs, or paramours, sycophants, or volunteer fire departments of which he may have had vested financial interests, and shall be claim-free of encumbrances, liens, creative licenses, unsecured loans, secured loans, and are not to be used in any of Mr. Dumploader's many schemes to extract money from widows and orphans and patriotic groups. This disclaimer is endorsed by Mrs. Sturdley J. Dumploader and several other lovely  "ladies." 
                                                       
Go to www.mydailyaphorism.blogspot.com and enjoy your daily dose
of wit and wisdom by Nothingprofound.
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3 comments:

nothingprofound said...

I was grinning bemusedly all the way through until I hit the disclaimer which threw me into a seizure of laughter. I may have to sue you for a ruptured disc. Incidentally, number four describes me fairly completely.

nothingprofound said...

Count-am on a return visit and find this time I absolutely love-"If you wish to make yourself miserable...go for the best instead of good enough." A lesson this Faustean world finds difficult to learn.

詩婷 said...

在莫非定律中有項笨蛋定律:「一個組織中的笨蛋,恆大於等於三分之二。」..................................................