Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Generic Maxims No. 5



1. Being "better off" is better than getting every thing you want.
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2. You can be anything you want to be...
maybe.


3. Tell me the truth...but tell me the price first.
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4. Be the best you can...if that's 4th place,that's OK.
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5. Learn to plan ahead ...to appear spontaneous.
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6. If you see the Ladder of Success...don't walk under it.
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7. Common sense goes a long way...but it's a rough ride.
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8. If you take your time in life and repeat your same mistakes...they will become your principles.
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9. Learn from other's mistakes...or do your own research.
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10. Look before you leap...and ask for directions.
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Hedley B. Fishbinder,  inventor of the Fishbinder Shoehorn and Shoe Lace Mender Machine, announced today that he would no longer offer himself as a candidate for the Senate. He has spoken to charges against him from Senator Sturdley S. Sheepley that he was secretly involved with a young lady, Miss "Toots" Hempley who is an exotic dancer with the touring troupe of  "Near Eastern Belly Dancers", currently playing at the gentleman's club in the city.  Fishbinder said that it was a charge completely without merit and he would comment no further to our reporter. Mrs. Fishbinder, when finally reached to comment, said that she was inclined to shoot the two-timing, philandering, old coot, if he ever showed his mustache at her door again. She said she was contacted by a Miss "LaRue" Tuglow, and a Miss "Bubbles" Dazzlerag, both of them demanding money to keep their affair with Hedley secret.  Mrs. Fishbinder said she had not been contacted by any cheap "belly dancer" since, but that it would come as no surprise.  When contacted about the new allegations, Hedley said that he refused to justify such allegations with a comment unless they had photographs or other viable evidence, of course.  As to the charge that he fathered a child with Miss Tuglow, Hedley said this was mere falsehood and that if he had such a child, he would, of course,"support little Hedley, Jr....er, I mean, er, well, it's another unfounded accusation and they probably don't have any proof except for Miss Tuglow, a wench known for entrapping men and bawdy behavior on the stage."  Hedley, then vowed to continue the fight to bring" family values stuff back to Congress,  the Administration and the American People and all!" 

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4 comments:

TALON said...

Count Sneaky, No. 5 had me laughing out loud! Have a fabulous weekend :)

ιŸ‹δΊŽε€«ζˆ said...

far from eye, far from heart. ....................................................

workinghard said...

This is a fun way of saying something deep. Be well

nothingprofound said...

"You can be anything you want to be...maybe."

"Be the best you can...if that's 4th place.that's OK.

Love the gentle and whimsical way you poke fun at all the self-help dogma with common sense.