Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Generic Maxims No.6

1. If you want more bang for your buck...open a fireworks factory.
2. Romance can lead to an institution...marriage

3.  When you keep both feet on the ground...it's hard to walk.
4. If you can't stand the heat why are you still stoking the furnace?
5. If you hitch your wagon to a star... you're going to need a very long rope.
6. Don't envy another person's good fortune...crack open your own cookie.
7. The number of tyrants in the world in the world is mainly held down by the few job openings.
8. Politics...The Original Sin.

9. Women love trifles...they call them men.
10. Socialized medicine is when doctors get together for drinks and a buffet sponsored by a drug company at a medical convention.
Go to www.mydailyaphorism.blogspot.com for your daily enlightenment by Nothingprofound.

Dr. Hedley B. Shookshover, Jr. , D.D.S., B.S., S.U.V., E.M.O. and  sometime contributor of advice and maxims to this blog. His favorite field of study: Gin and Tonic. 

Margarite had a parakeet,
Who was completely indiscreet.
So, she left him at the door,
of the Salvation Army store,
And beat a hasty retreat.

Count Sneaky

Pictured above is Hedley Grover Dewclaw, Jr. in his racing attire after winning the Turnip Truck 500 in record time and with all four tires still inflated. Hedley is a local resident who has been racing those new-fangled horseless carriages since they became available to order in kit form through our local Carriage House. Having  been mechanically inclined since Harvard Law School, Hedley took well to the rigors of racing over wagon trails, horse paths, and open fields with his invaluable mechanic, Farkley Shugbury, and his Track Scout, Harley Bentlow, on a magnificent Arabian stallion, named Beauzo riding ahead. The Dewclaw Racing Team won easily over a field consisting of mostly amateurs and wealthy playboys. Hedley is looking forward to race in the newly emerging National Association of Society Chaps And Racing (NASCAR) which has three tracks on its circuit.

Shedley von Bottomhugger, Sports correspondent.       


TALON said...

Women definitely love trifling with males :)

I always wondered how you could actually lasso a star in the first place - lol!

It must have been something to see an Arabian horse racing a new-fangled horseless carriage!

韋成 said...


nothingprofound said...

Count, I can see your having great fun with these. "When you keep both feet on the ground...it's hard to walk." Hilarious, and in fact a deep truth.

TheCrankyCanadian said...

Loved #7 - "The number of tyrants in the world in the world is mainly held down by the few job openings"

How true this is!!!