"In our civilization, men are afraid that they will not be men enough and women
are afraid that they might be considered only women."
1. Confucious say journey of a thousand miles... start with cash advance.
2. Life has a way of showing you... you're not the only hamburger on the grill.
3. If you wish to be a communicator...learn to be a listener first.
4. No two people are exactly alike...but they're close enough for political campaigns.
5.The tortoise can beat the hare everytime...using GPS.
6. The wages of sin... are not subject to with-holding taxes.
7. Reality check: It took three million dollars to build the original Titanic...
but it took one hundred million dollars to make the movie.
8. I'm a good person trying to do my best... Stop the world! We've found another one.
9. If you're the only one in the room who sees the 800lb. gorilla in the room...get the heck outta there!
10.Things you should never try...like frying bacon topless.
1. Your dreams will bring you a
business venture that will
take your last thin dime.
2. You have a knack for solving
your own miserable ones.
3. You will soon bring joy
to someone near you...
your local tax collector.
4. You will soon meet a tall,
dark, handsome man...
who will arrest you.
5. You will soon be going
on a cruise...on the S.S.
6. You will meet a beautiful,
young woman... who will
drain your bank account.
7. Prepare to have your talents
posters are in the post office.
8. You will learn your ancestors
came here on the Mayflower...
in the Mayflower's brig.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK...
" I believe I have found the missing link between
animal and civilized man. It's us.
"Support bacteria. They're the only culture
some people have."
LARRY THE CABLE GUY
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend
toward more freedom and democracy.
But that could change."
" ACKNOWLEDGE: To confess.
Acknowledgement of another's faults is the
highest duty by our love of truth."
Victoria Tingle, our roving correspondent for jackwagon politics,
writes from Sturdley City that City Hall has a problem on its hands.
It seems that the city has outgrown its dump, or to use the proper civic
euphemism, its "landfill." As Mayor Diane Dither said, " It takes a heap
of living to make a dump into a landfill." Accordingly, the mayor and town
council has decided to raise the money to enlarge the acreage and to expand
the landfill by selling cookies and pies at city hall, and by selling new, plastic
garbage cans with the owner's name hand-painted on it in beautiful script.
Vicky writes that she bought some "Dump Cookies" and "Landfill Pies"
and they were quite adequate. She was presented by Mayor Dither with
her own beautiful new garbage can emblazoned with her name and given
a new plastic key to the progressive town of Sturdley City.
Writers remember! You can write from your own experience....
or lack of it. My best.
Copyright HTStone 2011