Monday, July 19, 2010

1. Civility makes friends...
and hides hypocrisy.
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2. Here's how life works...you have your house re-roofed, and then you get the shingles.
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3. Time seems to change everything... except credit card payments.
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4. Your shoes haven't been broken in yet...
much less your mind.
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5. Perhaps man is just tall, thinking clay.
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6. In this life, you get what you deserve and what you ask for...but not necessarily in that order.
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7. It's said that a little learning is a dangerous thing... but so is a whole lot of ignorance.
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8. You can have it all...if you have a place to put it.
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9. Basically, the trouble with the rat race is... 
that it is hard not to step on the rats.
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10. The only safety device in driving that is rarely used...is the driver's head.
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This just in from our Roving Correspondent, Bolivar Bodine, Jr.:
Historical Site Marker seen over at Creosote City...

FORT PECKSNIFF
The remains of a moat and an outer wall are all that is left of Fort Pecksniff,
a Revolutionary War stronghold of the British Colonial Army.
Colonel Mortmorency Chichester Fortesque, commanding officer, surrendered the fort to George Washington's forces without a fight after it was discovered that the fort was financed by an adjustable-rate mortgage.
(Historical marker erected by the Daughters of the British Colonial Sympathizers)


News items submitted by Hedley Harley from large unnamed newspaper:
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During the National Bowling Conference Championship Bowl-Offs yesterday, Sturdley Hummerdink was one pin away from bowling a perfect game. A perfect game had not been bowled at the National Championship Bowl-Offs in a decade, so the crowd watched in rapt attention as Sturdley approached the foul ine and released the ball. A gasp and sudden hush fell over the huge crowd as the ball rolled down the alley.
You could hear a pin drop. It didn't.

Sturdley Shinglehammer, the world's worst living poet submits this jewel this week:
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I knew a man from Pago Pago,
(It's pronounced Pango Pango,)
There they don't eat rutabago,
Just avacado and mango mango.

Thannnnnk yuh, Sturd.

9 comments:

TALON said...

Count Sneaky, Number 1 is really resonsating with me - it's so - unfortunately - true!

The only side effect I've suffered from when reading this blog is pure and utter enjoyment! ;)

Tony Single said...

Count, number five really struck me today. Kind of puts one in their place really. :)

klahanie said...

Greetings friend,
Just thought I should come over and visit your delightful blog.
Thank you for linking in and commenting on my blog. That was most appreciated.
I must say that number ten is certainly a point that I can relate too. I wish the ambulance driver who smashed into my car had been using his 'head'. Still, at least there was a touch of irony with that incident and nobody was hurt.
With respect, Gary.

家榮家榮 said...

快下班囉~來幫你加油~~.................................................................

klahanie said...

Just wanted to thank you for that delightful poem you left on my site.
Thought it only right that I inform you of the highly coveted award for your terrific blog over at my site.
Hope you are enjoying your weekend.
With respect, Gary

蔡靜芳蔡靜芳 said...

很棒,令人期待............................................................

bazza said...

Hi Count Sneaky. I followed you here from 'Klahanie'. These excellent posts remind me of a book I once read: 'If You Can't Live Without Me Why Aren't You Dead Yet?'!
Great fun.

徐俊賴靜雯賢 said...

thank you for you to make me learn more,thank you∩0∩............................................................

吳淑芬吳淑芬 said...

thank you for you to make me learn more,thank you∩0∩............................................................